


Guys Like You And Me.

by thebattleoftreebros



Series: Guys Like You And Me. [1]
Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Bisexual Evan, F/F, Gay Alana, Gay Connor, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Pansexual Zoe, Recreational Drug Use, Sexual References, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-19
Updated: 2017-10-17
Packaged: 2018-12-04 03:07:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11546211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thebattleoftreebros/pseuds/thebattleoftreebros
Summary: Connor and Evan have just graduated senior year. Although they knew of each other's existence, they didn't get to officially meet up until this point. They begin to realize that they have several things in common. They get to know each other and get closer but things will get crazy as soon as summer comes to a close and they both get jobs and head off to college. The two will rub off on each other, causing for tons of fun and such.... but will their relationship last once they have more obligations to handle?Basically this is just a slow burn of a cute (but complicated) friendship and it'll turn into a cute (but complicated) relationship. Also, the whole squad will come together too! So, join me in my first writing adventure for some beautiful and funny TreeBros, GalaxyGirls, and insanely cool Jared Kleinman moments!!!





	1. acquaintances become friends

  Connor jolted awake in a panic. The same panic that caused his skin to go cold while his whole body felt hot and he couldn't stop shaking. This stupid dream he'd been having throughout the whole summer always caused him to wake up with sweat pouring down his body. He threw off the covers that enveloped him and put his hair up in a messy bun. This was done in an attempt to cool himself down. For some odd reason, Connor could vividly remember every moment that he was in that revolting dream.

  He was running through a dark forest and all he saw was an arm, with a cast on, reaching out to him and calling his name. Every night, his dreams ended the same, he would run faster and always get closer to the figure, but he could never grab the arm in time and the figure ended up getting swept up by the darkness. By this point, Connor had convinced himself that if he couldn't even save himself, then why was he even trying to save someone else? Part of him knew that he wanted to save the mysterious figure, he just didn't know why.

  He was shaken abruptly from his thoughts when he heard his parents yelling downstairs. It was probably something to do with him. He got up slowly and threw on some clothes that were laying on the ground, they probably smelled like the weed that he smoked last night, but in that moment, he didn't particularly care. While he was slipping his shirt on, his sister, Zoe, stood in Connor's doorway, playing with the hinges that used to hold his door. One of the many things he got taken away after one of his 'episodes.'

  "Get up loser, mom and dad are forcing us to have 'bonding' time while they figure out whatever shit they're arguing about." Zoe said monotonously while making air quotes with her fingers.

  "Why? They aren't scared I'm gonna try to 'kill you' or some other bullshit?" Connor said sarcastically as he returned the air quote motion.

  Zoe rolled her eyes and clearly portrayed that she was frustrated. "Just get ready, oh _great_ brother of mine." She gritted her teeth as she spoke and then stormed off towards her room. She then proceeded to slam the door shut, probably just to show that she was the Murphy sibling that actually had a door and some privacy.

  As the yelling increasingly boomed through the household, Connor remembered that the "bonding time" was where they didn't actually bond. They would end up going to the mall together but Zoe would go off with some friends and Connor would stay in the food court and read, draw, or do something just to make sure he stayed relatively calm. When his father's voiced strained over his mom's, he recalled how irritable he was at the fact that Zoe was actually able to fit in with people, while for some reason, he always remained distant. He thought that it had better stay that way, considering everyone would hate him if they found out who he really was anyways. He finally began to get ready. But, his mind still went back to the dream. What did it mean?

  When he was finished getting ready, he began to make his way down the stairs where the yelling got louder. Zoe stepped out of the bathroom behind him and grabbed his attention.

  
  "Start the car, you're driving." Her words were kind of slurred because she had toothpaste suds in her mouth. He huffed to himself and continued angrily down the stairs. His mom approached him while his dad stood behind her angrily tapping his foot.

  "Take your sister out for a bit. Go get some breakfast at that little diner in town and then head to the mall afterwards. I'll text Zoe so you guys know when to come home for dinner." Cynthia said as she handed him some money. She had no idea that they never actually did any of these things. She thought they were finally starting to repair their relationship. But they were definitely far from it. As Connor began to spiral while pondering these thoughts, fucking Larry broke the silence.

  "Connor should be able to pay for breakfast himself. Maybe if he wasn't high off his ass all the time then he'd have a job where he could make his own income." Larry scoffed at Connor. Then there it was, that _look_ of sheer disappointment that just made Connor fume. His 'episodes' almost always started with Larry ticking him off. It was too early in the morning to throw a fit, so he just decided he would wait for Zoe outside.

  "Mind your own fucking business, Larry." Connor raised his voice slightly.

  "Language, Connor." His mother scolded.

  Connor took the money from his mother and yelled some colorful words behind him while he slammed the door, stormed outside, and started the car. He got back out and leaned against his door while he waited for Zoe.

  He looked up at they sky, the sun was just coming up and the morning hues always seemed to calm him down. He took a few deep breaths as he leaned his head back on the car. But that's when he heard the sound of a door shut, coming from nearby. That's also when he noticed the boy across the street. He was beginning to sit on his porch and pull out a book. Connor recognized him briefly from school. He thinks that he might've been in his graduating class. But, he couldn't really remember much, considering he was high. All that Connor thought in that moment was that his gay ass was slightly attracted to the kid, he was pretty cute. He adjusted his satchel and cleared his throat so that his mind would stop thinking crazy thoughts about some random kid from across the street.

  ' _Calm the fuck down, Connor._ ' He thought to himself, ' _Start with friendship and go from there._ '

  But, as always, his thoughts were interrupted. This time, it was by his sister yelling out of her window that she would be down in a few minutes. So, since he had nothing better to do, he decided to approach the boy across the street.

  ' _Why did you actually start walking? It's not like he would even want to be friends with you anyways._ '

  "Evan? Right?" Connor said a little more abruptly than planned.

  Evan furiously nodded his head in response. "C-Connor?"

  "Yeah... I noticed that you were reading from across the street and that it was Harry Potter." Connor cracked something that sort of resembled a smile. "That's probably my favorite book series ever."

  Evan was slightly reluctant to continue the conversation with this boy. His anxiety immediately began to let terrible thoughts swarm inside his head, make his stomach feel empty, and his chest feel tight. But, maybe this was the chance he'd been waiting for? Where he could actually make a real friend for once? It finally wouldn't only be his family friend, Jared, who mainly just teased him all the time. Plus, he only hung out with Evan just so that his parents would pay for his car insurance. Connor probably wouldn't even like anything about Evan anyways, he's an absolute mess. He should probably just quit while he's ahead. His mom had been telling him to put himself out there, but was it really worth it? Evan took a deep breath and pushed his anxiety aside because some reasonable voice in his head urged him to talk to the boy. He grabbed the small tree-shaped bookmark from beside him and placed it in the book, shutting it slowly. He picked at the bookmark that was in the book in his lap while he bounced his leg up and down.

  Evan snapped back into reality, "C-cool. I-uh- This is my third time-er-reading it. I l-love it." He chuckled to himself quietly but also mentally cursed at himself for stuttering so much. "I've been known t-to geek out over it from time to time. I always watch the marathons when they come on TV, my mom bought me some of the robes when I was younger, and I also have some of the wands as well. OH! I'm also an official Hufflepuff, according to Pottermore."

  Wow. He actually managed to speak more than a sentence to someone. But he froze at the realization of how much he rambled and immediately muttered an apology.

  "Sorry- I-I always get so carried away-"

  "Don't apologize." Connor said a little more rudely than intended.  He was genuinely impressed with this boy. He noticed that he spoke rudely when Evan got a nervous look in his eye and started playing with the hem of his shirt. "Slytherin." He muttered.

  "W-what?" Evan looked up into Connor's eyes because he wanted to make sure he heard his new... friend (?) clearly.

  "I'm a Slytherin." He said a little calmer and clearer. The standing boy took a seat on the ground in front of Evan. "What happened to your arm?"

  "I-uh-f-fell out of a tree?"

  A beat passed until the other boy spoke again.

  "Well that is just the saddest fucking thing I've ever heard."

  "Yeah..."

  "No one's signed it?"

  Evan nodded sadly and looked down at the ground.

  "I'll sign it... if you want."

  Evan shrugged and agreed. ' _Why not?_ ', he thought to himself. Connor pulled out a sharpie from his bag and took up the whole cast with his signature.

  "O-oh. Great. Thanks." Evan said. There was no room for anyone else to sign it now. Not that anyone else would.

  "Now we can both pretend we have friends." Connor sighed to himself.

  "We don't have to pretend. We can be real friends?" Evan didn't even realize those words were coming out until he said them. He was glad they did. Connor had already stood up and turned around to leave before Evan's words broke the slight silence in the air.

  Connor looked shocked for a second. But then, he turned around and pulled out a notebook. Connor scribbled on a page quickly with the sharpie. He ripped it out and handed it to Evan. His sister began calling for him across the street. "Here's my number then. Text me. Friend." That word was way too foreign. For both of them.

  "Yeah.... friend." Both boys smiled. Neither of them had done that for a while. Connor took off with Zoe for their 'bonding time' and Evan remained on his porch, clutching the paper and his book. All while still smiling, and now noticeably blushing since Connor had driven off. He felt like such a goofball. Evan knew exactly what to write in his next letter.

 

 

  ' _Today is going to be a good day, because you might have made a friend._ '


	2. texting is hard when you feel like a burden

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evan attempts to text Connor.  
> Connor and Evan attempt to not become attached to one another this easily.  
> Also, the italics in this chapter will represent Evan/Connor's thoughts. The italics in bold are their text convos.

  Evan had smiled weakly to himself after Connor drove off. He got up from his spot on the porch and grabbed his things. As he opened the door to the Hansen's small house, he took one last look at the morning sky and exhaled a breath that he didn't even know he took in the first place. Now came the hard-bad- maybe rough (?) part of this new relationship. _Starting it_. 

_What if he thinks you're annoying when you stutter and that's why he gave you his number so that he didn't actually have to talk to you in person? But then he might think that you're weird when you text because you send multiple text bubbles at a time since you can't compose your thoughts into one thing that you want to say. He's definitely going to think you're weird. Connor is going to ditch you and then you'll still be a friendless nobody who just feels alone. You'll feel so alone that you might just want to throw yourself off a 30 foot tall tree again, right?_

  Evan sighed heavily once he realized how he began to spiral and looked down at his cast, which his other hand was currently picking at. He was unaware that he was even doing that. As he trudged into the empty house and made his way towards his room, he pulled out his phone and set his book down on his desk. Evan took out the paper that Connor gave him and started bending the corners of it as he stared intensely at Connor's chicken scratch that was supposedly his phone number. Evan looked around his empty room and adjusted to the silence that he was not experiencing when he sat outside this morning. He always felt so isolated in this house. This was simultaneously a good and a bad thing. Good, because he liked to have some time to himself and not have his mother nagging at him to go out and socialize. But, it was bad because he sort of wanted his mother to be here with him, to spend time with him. He normally just felt like a burden to her. Heidi worked extra hours at the hospital just so she could gain some overtime money to afford his medication and therapy. This was all while she went to night classes that she needed to take in order to become a paralegal and, once again, earn more money to take care of Evan. She did this so that he could live a happy and satisfying life, which he still doesn't know what that is supposed to feel like. But now, Evan has a job of his own and is beginning to create his own income. This still didn't change the fact that Heidi was barely ever home, although, he secretly wished it did. He wanted his mother here with him. But apparently, that is just too much to ask for. Evan often thought that if he wasn't here, she could live a happy life of her own. He was, and always will be, just some burden to her. And if he were to become closer to his new friend, Connor would eventually learn to feel the same way towards Evan. 

_It probably isn't even his number. He probably gave you a fake one just to mess with you. You will be a burden to him too. That's exactly what you are, Evan. Just a burden. Connor wants to laugh at you like everyone else does. He's just doing this to make himself feel powerful and make you feel vulnerable. He definitely doesn't want anything to do with-_

_NO. Stop. Just text him Evan._

  That sensible side of his brain was, yet again, trying to stop him from freaking out. Maybe he could eventually feel like he wasn't bringing his struggles into other people's lives. His therapy and letters had only just begun to help him overcome his anxiety when deemed necessary. But most of the time, he was still unable to control it. Evan reluctantly took his phone from his pocket. His hands began to shake as he entered his extremely simple password. As he went into his contacts tab, he realized that Connor would be the seventh contact in his phone. Of course, he only had his mom, Jared, his father (who only ever called on holidays and his birthday), his boss from work, and a few emergency numbers. He clicked on a few things and began to type in the new contact. Once completed, Evan's finger hovered over the text button.

_He is probably busy. You shouldn't do it now. You saw him drive off, he is probably going to make some real friends. You know, the things that you don't have? The thing that you aren't worthy enough to be?_

  This was when his breathing became erratic. His chest hurt, his arms itched, and his hands trembled, causing his phone to drop to the floor. When the phone fell, it was almost like slow motion. Evan felt like his brain and heart darted towards the floor along with his phone. As he stood silently and regulated his breathing, he stared outside through his window. He looked at the never ending sky and scolded himself into trying to act like a normal human being.

_Just start small and breathe._

  Evan knelt down on the floor and pulled his knees towards his chest. He scooted his phone closer to him and clicked the text button under Connor's contact information. He tried so many different conversation starters. He was typing harshly on his keyboard after ten minutes of pure frustration. Evan had tried so many different combinations of words before he finally decided on a very simplistic message. He still wasn't completely happy with this text but he'd figured that he had better say something to Connor sooner or later, considering how desperate he was to make a friend. After five minutes of him shaking nervously, he clicked the send button. The one thing that he didn't expect, is how quickly Connor replied.

** Evan (8:27 am) :  _Hi Connor. It's Evan. What's up?_**

**Connor** **(8:29 am) : _hey evan, i'm sitting alone at the mall, you?_**

  Evan blushed slightly as soon as he realized that he was feeling slightly sympathetic towards the other boy. Connor had seemed so casual while stating that he was alone. Evan didn't want to jump to conclusions, but he had just realized something that they both, sadly enough, would be able to bond over. They're both unfortunately familiar with the feeling of loneliness. He thinks about offering to meet him at the mall but, he doesn't want to seem clingy or attached to Connor after he had basically just met the guy. That gesture seemed way too forward of him. Besides, he wasn't comfortable enough to ask that yet. Normally he'd be so reluctant to trusting someone he just met. But, Connor seemed different compared to everyone else and for some strange reason, he just really wanted to spend time with him. He wanted to talk to him, trade good books, play video games, and do all of the other things that normal teenage friends do together. They continued on texting one another with a meaningless conversation about the weather until Connor finally took a jab at starting this newfound friendship.

 **Connor** **(8:47 am) : _my current situation is telling me that i'll be out of the house all day. since we are supposedly friends now, and friends are supposed to hang out, do you wanna do something together later? we don't have to, i don't really know how this friendship thing works._**

  Evan knew that he was bound to mess this up somehow. Also, what did Connor mean by his "current situation"? He might as well just say something stupid now and get it over with. After his minor panic attack, he figured any communication attempt was worth a shot. Now that he knew how Connor had similar worries too, he felt slightly less uncomfortable.

 **Evan** **(8:48 am) : Sure! That sounds great. Do you think you could pick me up? And what will we be doing? I need to know what to wear...**

**Connor (8:50 am) : yup, just wear your normal clothes. i'll be there in 10. our destination will be a surprise ;)**

  Connor had shoved his phone in his pocket and looked across the table at Zoe. She had been looking at him strangely because he had a small smirk on his face after she told him that Cynthia had texted them not to come home until 5.

  "Your friends are coming at 9, yeah?" He said blatantly.

  "Mmhm," she nodded, " 'Lana said she'll be here soon though. You know her, always early."

  "Mind if I leave you with her until like 4:30? Then I'll pick you up to head home later?"

  "I'm not sure. Are you heading off to get high and kill someone?" Zoe snickered, but she was secretly scared of knowing what he was actually capable of. Meanwhile, Connor didn't find any humor in this question at all.

  "No, I'm not fucking around Zo. I want to go meet a friend of my own." 

  Zoe busted out laughing and Connor was pretty sure almost every person in the food court was staring. "I'm serious." He said flatly. "I'm going to hang out with Evan Hansen."

  "Evan Hansen? He is way too innocent for you. Which is kinda why I'm starting to believe you. Maybe he'll be a good influence on you. I give him my full blessing and welcome him into the family as my new brother-in-law." She smirked and winked at him. In which Connor responded by blushing and mumbling something along the lines of, "Shut the fuck up Zo."

  "Alright. Fine. I'll see you at 4:30, pick me up at Alana's. Don't be late."

  Connor nodded at his sister and began to get up from his chair as he saw Alana approaching the table. He waved a quick goodbye to the two and pulled out his car keys as he exited the mall. This might actually be a fun day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! I'm so sorry I haven't updated for a while, I'm going to be better about it, I swear! I've been attempting to do my summer project and I'm also on vacation in a different state, visiting family.  
> Let me know your thoughts on this chapter so I know what to fix and such!!


	3. that sports car

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our boys begin to bond and Connor begins to pine.

  Connor began his five minute trek back to his car. His long legs easily allowed him to stride faster to the expensive and very well kept vehicle. His parents bought him the sleek black sports car for his sixteenth birthday. It was one of his only possessions that he actually was good at taking care of. Working on the car was supposed to be something for him and Larry to do together but, he found it was easier for him to work on the car himself. This allowed for Larry to have less opportunities to breathe down Connor's neck and it slightly relieved his internal stress and anger.

  But other than working calmly on his car, it was the first time in forever that he was actually looking forward to doing something. But Connor's fear slowed him down as he approached his car. He gripped his car keys tightly in his hand as he realized, yet again, that he was nothing but a freak. He was a monster. No matter what he did today, Evan would hate him. He would be too afraid to ever approach Connor again. The one time that he tried to turn his life around and he had already became too clingy.

_Why today did you decide to meet up with him? You just fucking met him. He stuttered a lot, that's probably a sign. He knows you're a freak. Just because you suddenly seem to trust the kid right away, doesn't mean you can already try to get in his pants. Hansen is straight. Don't let your homosexual ass think any otherwise. He is just a friend. Maybe not even that because you're probably about to scare him off today. Just try not to fuck it up... okay?_

Connor glanced down at his suddenly red and shaking hands. The curves on the edge of the keys left small imprints in the palm of his hand. He loosened his grip on his keys and unlocked his car. His hands then began to constrict around the door handle as he opened it slowly. He moved his hand up to his lip when he began to taste it.  **Blood.** Connor looked down and saw small red droplets on his fingertip. He snatched the cherry chapstick (that his mom made made him keep with him) out of his back pocket. He took the cap off and began to slide the stick across his dry and cracked mouth. Ever since Connor began to grow angry as a young teen, his main habit was biting his lips to relieve himself of his emotions. Whether it be anger, sadness, or confusion, his lips would always end up destroyed. When Connor would become calm, he could see that his lips were rough like sandpaper. His mom took notice quickly and did some online shopping to find the perfect solution to Connor's problem. That goddamn cherry chapstick. By this point, it was routine. Once he applied it, the cracks in his lips began to sting. He mumbled some curse words and stepped into his car while he shoved the chapstick in his arm console. It would end up working like a charm in a matter of minutes.

  He shoved the keys into the ignition and turned them abruptly. Connor let the A.C. kick on and slowly leaned his head back against the headrest. As he began to let his hands take the wheel, he knew that he didn't actually think of something for them to do together. It'd definitely have to be something basic so that they could get to know each other. Connor wouldn't take Evan anywhere too personal until he learned to trust him. That would probably take a while. So, he decided on the second best option. They would walk into town and go to Connor's second favorite place. The Beck's bookshop.

  Although it was a place that he held slightly dear to him, it was also owned by Alana's family and it was a cozy little joint. This meant that both he and Evan wouldn't be disturbed. All in all, it was a suitable option for the both of them. Alana was already with Zoe at the mall and the Beck's only ever greeted Connor abruptly when he came in. If Alana were to be there, she'd never let him hear the end of it. Alana's mother is a high school friend of Cynthia's, so of course, she's been hanging around with the Murphy's ever since they were young. Her and Connor were somewhat close, but she was definitely more friendlier with Zoe. There was one time, about two weeks before graduation where Alana came over to go swimming with Zoe but the Murphy household ran out of sunscreen. Larry was at work, Cynthia was at yoga, and Connor didn't feel like going out. So, Zoe had run to the store and Connor stayed locked in his room. Now of course, Connor wouldn't admit this to anyone, but he was actually an amazing student. When he showed up to school, that is. Yet, there was always that one class that every good student had. His was calculus. He could never understand it and he got stressed just thinking about it. So, he was cooped up in his room attempting to study when Alana arrived. He had freaked out a little too loudly over one problem so she decided to knock on his door and try to help. They had ended up talking for a while and mending their relationship. She was probably his closest and only friend. After his issues in the beginning of senior year, he didn't really treat her or his sister the way he should have. He didn't really like to think about him and Alana's original fallout. Middle school was when his rough patch with the girls began. But this moment was what finally allowed them to bond again. So they talked about what they wanted to do after they graduated and she helped him immensely with calculus. Then Zoe came home, she was shocked at first but they ended up having a fun day in the pool. At least he had mended his relationship with Alana but him and Zoe still had things to work out. For now, they just tolerate one another.

  That was one of the few times that Connor had ever had fun.

  Connor began to drive back and he put on some music in the car. He had a strange music taste, but no one needed to know what that was. After ten minutes of him secretly jamming out by himself, he turned down him and Evan's street and shut the radio off. He parked a little ways down the street so that his parents wouldn't notice that he left Zoe at the mall. Then, he grabbed his satchel from the passengers seat and shut the car off. Connor locked the car and started to sneakily walk to Evan's. He'd have to be quick to get Evan and leave if he didn't want his parents to notice him. On one hand, his parents are probably too focused on their, practically daily, screaming match to even see him. But, he couldn't be too sure. 

  As Evan's porch grew closer, Connor began to tense up.  _Don't fuck this up, you freak._  He took gentle strides up to Evan's doorstep and he began to knock quietly on the door. It only took about five seconds for the short anxious boy to swing open the door. He grinned nervously and grabbed his keys from the hook beside the door. Connor stepped aside as Evan locked up the house. It seemed like he was the only one home.

  "How do you feel about walking?" Connor spoke first.

  "I love going on walks. Sometimes when I am really bored and the weather is nice enough, I'll just roam around town and take pictures of the nature sights and then go buy some snacks from a gas station and come home and watch movies or Netflix or-" Evan took a deep breath and Connor snickered a bit. It wasn't rude though, it was slightly comforting. "I'm rambling again aren't I?"

"Yeah, but it's a nice rambling. I want to get to know you for you, Hansen."

"I want to know more about you too, Connor." Both boys smiled at each other and continued their first journey together. They would both eventually learn that this was going to be one of the best days of their lives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave comments/suggestions so I can improve and make a good story for you guys!!  
> I've been working on my summer assignment for school so this has been a struggle to crank out, ouch. But, I'm still learning and I'll get better, I swear. School starts on the 6th for me so I'll have free time to write after school! Unless I have a bunch of homework ugh.... I'M TRYING Y'ALL I SWEARRRR!!!!


	4. musicals and a bookshop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> our boys start to have a good time.

  Evan recalled some distant memories.

  They used to make him feel good but now they just make him feel guilty. They make him feel like he was the reason that his dad left.

  As Evan walked beside the taller boy, he thought about strolling along these exact streets with his dad towards the bus stop during his kindergarten days. But now, for the past several years he had walked them alone with barely even a thought about that absent figure. Walking this street with someone else was different. He was happy that he was with someone who could potentially care about him but worried that he might just abandon Evan once he discovers all of his problems. Just like his father.

  "Hansen, are you okay?"

  Evan blinked his eyes a few times and looked up at Connor. The sun defined so many of his features and Evan couldn’t help but stare. His jawline was defined, his cheekbones were practically glowing against the sunlight, and his eyes were a mysterious icy blue color with a speck of brown in the right eye. Wait. Why is he thinking about his new friend like this? He looked down when they made eye contact and stumbled slightly on the pavement. He caught himself and picked up his pace slightly.

  "Y-yeah. I'm fine."

  Connor nodded and glanced down at Evan. He noticed that his cheeks were reddening quickly so he immediately looked back up at the sights in front of them. For the longest time, Connor longed for someone to talk to. These longing feelings did have their cons though.

  He had major trust issues.

  He would never consider sharing anything with his parents, especially Larry. Connor wanted to talk to Cynthia. He missed having his mom to help him through his issues but, something in the back of his head made him feel like she would believe he was crazy. She would learn to agree with Larry that he was just “pulling these stunts for attention” , as he often liked to put it. Then there was his sister. They used to be close but he screwed that up big time. Lately he’s been trying to reach out to her. Connor hopes him and Zoe will become closer once again. Just like the old days. He was keeping his walls up with his new friend for now, even though he felt like it would eventually be okay to open up.

  “What’s your favorite thing in the world?” Connor asked abruptly.

  Evan hadn’t expected this question. Of course, he knew there was only one real answer.

  “Trees.” He answered quickly. “All of the trees.”

  Connor slightly chuckled to himself at Evan’s newfound confidence which only lasted for a mere second. He could sense a bit of himself in the boy. Maybe they were more similar than Connor originally thought.

  “W-what about you?” Evan cleared his throat.

  “Oh.” Connor stared ahead blankly. “I guess I like to read. Listen to music. I write sometimes too.”

  He was shocked with himself. He had never really thought he had interests. To be honest, he believed he was nothing. There was just no point in being alive if he wasn’t going to do anything significant. Connor still feels that way sometimes. But for right now, the feelings seemed to be gone. Pushed straight to the back of his head.

  “I like those things too. They help me to calm down. It’s probably like that for you too, huh?” Evan had a realization moment. Him and Connor seemed very alike so far. This could actually be happening. A friend. Someone who might like to be around him. Someone who **understands** him.

_Don’t get too far ahead of yourself, Evan._

  “Yeah. I get angry really easily. Most times I like to go off and smoke some pot. For the times that I’m out of pot and don’t feel like calling my dealer, I just pick up a book and grab my headphones. It helps for a bit until I wake up.” Shit. He already overshared.

  “What do you mean by until you wake up?” Evan raised his eyebrows and his face twisted in confusion.

  “Nightmares.” He sighed. “They suck ass.”

  “I get them too.” Evan mumbled, attempting to be reassuring. “It’s been like that for years now. I’m not sure why it happens.”

_Of course you know why it happens. Your dad left you because you’re worthless. Thanks, abandonment and trust issues for causing insane insomnia and anxiety._

  “Every night it happens. I get barely any sleep and ever since the beginning of summer it’s been the same damn dream.” Connor huffed. He just wanted to know what said dream meant. Normally, he’d never be able to remember a worthless dream. But this dream was definitely a sign, considering he could remember every shitty detail.

  “I’ve been too nervous to bring it up to my therapist. She knows I get them but she doesn’t know that they’ve gotten much worse lately.” He looked up at Connor’s disgruntled expression.

  “You have a therapist?” He scoffed. “Must be nice to have people that care.”

  “I don’t see him too often. My mom started making me go during freshman year. She’s a good mom. I just wish she wasn’t working or at school all of the time. She’s barely ever home anymore.” Connor seemed guilty for Evan. Evan didn’t want to feel pitied so he redirected the subject back to therapy. “Doctor Sherman is just someone I can vent to. She sorta helps.”

  “How about this,” Connor was the one who tried to divert the subject now, since his dad didn’t believe in therapy and he had asked for it several times, “if either of us have a rough night, we can text about something random to help us go back to sleep. How does that sound?” Connor wanted to make an effort, he was really trying.

  “Deal.” Evan smiled at Connor wholeheartedly.

  So far, it was still a good day.

————————————————————  
  The boys continued to walk and talk about the things they enjoyed. They talked about so many things.

  Evan found out that Connor used to take tap lessons and that he likes to go to amusement parks. He definitely would ask later on to see old dance videos.

  Connor found out that Evan wants to move to New York City once he’s brave enough. He also found out that Evan has a secret netflix addiction which he totally understands.

  But for some reason, as they neared the shop, neither boy wanted to admit what music they listened to. After several minutes, which felt like hours, of arguing, they stopped outside of the book shop and compromised.

  “On three we both have to say it out loud. No excuses.”

  Evan groaned. “Mine is embarrassing.”

  “I’ll bet it’s not as embarrassing as mine.” Connor smirked.

  “Fine. On three.” The shorter boy rolled his eyes.

  “One.” Connor started them off.  
  “Two. Three.”

  “BROADWAY.” Both boys shouted simultaneously and started laughing until they were blue in the face. The few people that were walking down the street gave them a funny look. But for once, neither of them cared.

  “Holy shit.” Connor said as he was still laughing with an utterly shocked expression.

  Evan was actually grateful. Jared walked in on him singing his heart out to ‘Santa Fe’ from Newsies a few years ago and had a major laughing fit. He hasn’t heard the end of it ever since. His mom likes musicals but, she’s never there to listen to them with him.

  “We should take a trip into the city together soon. It’s only a little over an hour away. If I can afford it, we should totally see a show.” Evan seemed as excited as a little kid. Jared always said he seemed so feminine when freaking out over musical theatre. Which, is totally not true. He definitely had more boyish tendencies than Jared. Especially when it came to the use of bathbombs.

  “Yeah. That’d be great.”

  They stepped quietly into the bookshop. Evan tried to hide himself behind Connor, in which, he refused to let him. He grabbed his shoulders and had him walk by his side. Little did he know, Evan began to grow warm under his touch. It was a good thing that the bookshop entrance was a darker setting. Connor and Evan greeted Mr and Mrs Beck at the counter. Connor’s was more of a quick ‘hey.’ while Evan mumbled a hello under his breath. They walked over towards the reading corner after agreeing that it was the best spot in the shop.

  Evan somehow managed to get ahead of Connor but he stopped in his tracks before they could even sit down. Connor looked to see what was wrong as he caught up to Evan. He didn’t like what he saw, neither did Evan.

  “Why, if it isn’t my favorite tree boy and our resident school shooter.” The boy smirked in disbelief at the two. “On a date? Are we?” He could only assume, they were standing awfully close.

  Evan opened his mouth to speak before Connor walked forwards and interjected.

  “Jared fucking Kleinman.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay. i’m so sorry guys. school is really stressful and i’ve had a major case of writers block. i have ideas for the story but my words haven’t been flowing very well lately, as you can probably tell from this lazily written chapter. i just didn’t want to wait to update for y’all any longer. i’m starting the next chapter right away, trust me, it’ll be better.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked the first chapter! Please comment suggestions, I really want to know what kind of writing y'all like and how I can improve. This site is also new to me, so bear with me as I figure this out :).


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